In this episode: Janet responds to a letter from a single working mother who describes her relationship with her 4-year old as close and respectful, yet her daughter’s behavior is exhausting and concerning. This mum is overwhelmed and is desperately seeking advice and hope. Transcript of “Intense Difficulties with a Child’s Defiance and Resistance” Hi, … Continued
Anger is an emotion we can all relate to, but it can be incredibly hard for us to allow our children to express it. They need to. If kids can’t share their anger, it doesn’t cease to exist. It festers, usually causing more frequent and intense flare-ups, discharged in bursts of impulsive limit-pushing behavior. It … Continued
My 2 year old daughter is running off in public and refuses to listen. I feel like we have tried everything. I try to be open and patient and allow her to explore, but at times her behavior is dangerous and I worry about her safety. I am at a breaking point. I don’t even … Continued
“I have relaxed so much as a mother and as a wife. I can enjoy my kids without having to live up to anyone else’s standards. I have learned how to actively listen. To do less. And observe more. I’m happy. I’m proud of being a mother. I love learning and can admit when I … Continued
One of my passions is helping parents to realize the crucial role of boundaries in their children’s lives and to encourage them to become the confident, benevolent leaders kids need. It’s an important subject for me, because I know this journey intimately. I was a classic pushover parent. I ardently believe that if I was … Continued
When adding a second child to the family, I believe it our primary goal as parents to maintain a quality relationship with our first. Intense feelings of fear, loss, betrayal, anger, and resentment are to be expected for these older children, commonly expressed through limit-pushing behavior that might be directed at parents, peers, and/or the … Continued
Our three-year-old daughter has started showing a strong preference for Mommy, especially at bedtime. We are trying to be positive and respectful of her wishes, but I am expecting another child in May, and we need to set boundaries about my availability to her. Thus far, setting boundaries often leads to tears, shouting, and temper … Continued
“Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection.” – Brené Brown, Ph.D. I once entered an elevator to the sounds of a crying infant. The mother faced forward and was holding the baby … Continued
In “Don’t Leave a Testing Toddler Hanging,” I shared four typical testing scenarios. I then offered some general guidelines for recognizing and responding to limit-pushing behavior. One of the parents commenting on that post asked if I could specifically address each of the example scenarios I’d presented at the beginning. She explained, “Seeing how techniques … Continued
I’ve noticed that I am much more confident and in control of my emotions/responses on the weekend when I have not spent the majority of my day at work, away from my son. The rest of the time, especially when I’m tired or unfocused, I feel that I am poorly responding to his tantrums, demands, … Continued
I share lots of advice about toddler behavior because I know many parents find discipline issues intensely challenging. I was one of them. With my first child, especially, learning to recognize and respond effectively to her tests and limit-pushing behavior (which seemed to spring out of nowhere towards the end of her first year) took … Continued
Toddlers are experts at ruffling our feathers, but these tiny people mean no disrespect. Testing our limits (and patience) is impulsive behavior on their part and a developmentally appropriate way to seek answers to important questions like: Am I safe and cared for? Do I have confident leaders? Are they with me or against me? … Continued
Most of us were not raised in fairy tale households by perfect parents, and the formative messages we received as children may not have always been positive or healthy. The good news: the process of raising our own children can be profoundly restorative. Every hour we spend with our babies and kids offers us opportunities … Continued
