Toddlers are experts at ruffling our feathers, but these tiny people mean no disrespect. Testing our limits (and patience) is impulsive behavior on their part and a developmentally appropriate way to seek answers to important questions like: Am I safe and cared for? Do I have confident leaders? Are they with me or against me? … Continued
Most of us were not raised in fairy tale households by perfect parents, and the formative messages we received as children may not have always been positive or healthy. The good news: the process of raising our own children can be profoundly restorative. Every hour we spend with our babies and kids offers us opportunities … Continued
I am often asked what “tricks” I have to get my toddler to eat well, or how I cope with food rejection and other issues at the table. I guess you could say I have a mantra, words our family lives eats by: Trust, Respect, Model, Accept, Slow Down and Enjoy. Probably because of my … Continued
“The toddler is a terrific, tiresome, true, torn human being. There are times when he believes he owns the world; and at other times, he believes all the world is his enemy.” – Magda Gerber, Dear Parent – Caring for Infants With Respect Hi Janet, My daughter will be 2 in a week, and I’ve … Continued
When I consult with parents about their children’s more challenging behaviors, I sometimes offer a visual that I hope will put otherwise volatile situations into perspective. I’ve been reluctant to share this on my blog for fear it might be misinterpreted, but since so many of the parents I hear from continue to struggle with … Continued
Kate Russell is unafraid to lay bare her personal parenting struggles. With insight and refreshing candour, Kate’s blog “Peaceful Parents, Confident Kids” chronicles the bumpy path she’s taken transitioning from a more reactive, punitive approach to the respectful recommendations of my mentor, child specialist Magda Gerber. As a reader and a fan, I was thrilled … Continued
The madness began at snack time, which we offer in our RIE parenting classes once the babies are all mobile and able to sit independently. Participation in snack time is always the children’s choice, and they quickly learn and enjoy the routine. They are requested to sit on the floor at the snack table (or … Continued
Hi Janet, I started reading your blog several months ago, and have managed to read most of your posts, and a couple of Magda Gerber’s books too. I have 2 children, Caleb is now 3 1/2 years and Bella is 7 months. I really struggled looking after them both after Bella was born. I had … Continued
I regularly receive comments from parents expressing appreciation for the respectful parenting approach I share on my blog (Magda Gerber’s RIE approach). Occasionally, these same parents will then assert that this could not possibly work for their child with high needs or special needs, for any number of reasons. Over the years, I have consulted … Continued
It wasn’t until we’d found our place in the absurdly long line at Starbucks that I realized my daughter was mad at me for leaving the house late. I’d mistaken her sullenness for her typical morning lethargy, but when she seemed even quieter than usual I checked in. “Are you okay?” “You had two hours … Continued
Since most of the advice I share is focused on the infant, toddler and preschool years, parents who have older children frequently ask me, “Is it too late?” My answer is an unqualified “never.” The follow-up question is, “Great, so how do I begin?” I answer that by sharing some of the ways my mentor … Continued
One of the most ironically counterintuitive twists of parenting is this: the more we welcome our children’s displeasure, the happier everyone in our household will be. There is no greater gift to our children and ourselves than complete acceptance of their negative feelings. (Notice I did not say “behaviors”.) By deleting from our parenting job … Continued
Since one of our primary goals as responsive parents is being attuned to our children and their needs, it’s helpful to be aware of a natural impulse that obstructs this clarity: projection. Projections aren’t all bad. These “educated guesses” stem from our healthy, socially adaptive instinct to imagine each other’s thoughts, feelings and intentions in … Continued
