The words we use with our children matter, especially in trying moments. They convey perceptions about our child and the situation at hand. For example, if our infant or toddler tests us by hitting and we say, “I won’t let you hit” (with all the calm and confidence we can muster), while gently holding his … Continued
When I consult with parents about their children’s more challenging behaviors, I sometimes offer a visual that I hope will put otherwise volatile situations into perspective. I’ve been reluctant to share this on my blog for fear it might be misinterpreted, but since so many of the parents I hear from continue to struggle with … Continued
Limit-pushing behavior can confound even the most attuned parent or caregiver. Why would our sweet darling throw her toy at us when we’ve just asked her not to, and then add insult to injury by smirking? Is she evil? Does she have a pressing need to practice throwing skills? Maybe she just hates us… Sensitive, … Continued
Given a choice, I would avoid conflict like the plague, but I don’t live in a plastic bubble. My day is full of personal interactions with family, friends, co-workers and strangers (including the telemarketer predictably calling at dinnertime). As a result, I find that I constantly need to exercise and hone my “handling conflict” skills. … Continued
“Like many parents, ‘consequences’ is one of my buzzwords. I use it before Emmett behaves poorly. I use it while Emmett is behaving poorly. I use it after Emmett has behaved poorly. I use it with tedious regularity in an attempt to make him understand that some actions have negative outcomes and that those outcomes can’t … Continued
The secret to raising children who generally cooperate with our rules and direction has very little to do with specific strategies or wordplay like “I won’t let you” versus “Don’t hit.” What matters most — and essentially makes or breaks successful guidance — is the way we perceive our children and our overall attitude toward … Continued
Parents often ask me, “Why won’t my kids listen?” What they really mean is, “Why won’t they follow my directions?” Children are ready to listen, primed from birth to begin decoding our words and intuiting our unspoken messages. They are also unique individuals who quickly develop ideas, opinions and wills of their own. Babies and … Continued
“Remember, crying is a baby’s language – it is a way to express pain, anger, and sadness. Acknowledge the emotions your baby is expressing. Let him know he has communicated.” – Magda Gerber, Dear Parent – Caring For Infants With Respect In the beginning, fostering healthy emotional development for our children means listening and trying … Continued
One of the most commonly misunderstood aspects of parenting is also the most critical…providing children the boundaries they need to feel secure. I was reminded (again) how confusing this issue can be for all of us when I received this comment on my recent post about hitting: “Like so many others, I am struggling with … Continued
Disclaimer: In the diverse and sometimes divisive world of parenting advice, one parent’s mistake is another’s best practice. So, for clarification, the way I define ‘mistake’ reflects the parenting goals I personally aspire to and is based on my experiences working with parents and toddlers for the last 18 years. I consider these mistakes because … Continued
“Distracting and redirecting did not fool him. Time outs and rewards did not motivate him.” This is the story of a bright, spirited toddler with exceptionally loving parents who felt their family “spiraling out of control.” But all they really needed were some simple tools to help them understand how to communicate with their son … Continued
Hi Janet, My son is 3 years old and is a very happy child! He is at a RIE accredited Montessori school since he was little. I’m a working mom. I will never forget that after his first days at the infant room, his teacher told me that it was amazing how much he observed. … Continued
“What parents teach is themselves, as models of what is human – by their moods, their reactions, their facial expressions and actions. These are the real things parents need to be aware of, and of how they affect their children. Allow them to know you, and it might become easier for them to learn about … Continued
