No Remorse for Aggressive Behavior

Podcast

In this episode: Janet responds to an email from a parent whose 6-year-old boy has been hitting and pinching his younger sister and others, and she’s alarmed because he shows no remorse for his behavior. She says that she has tried to get her boy to talk about his feelings, but “he just shuts down … Continued

Exhausted by a Child’s Whining and Crankiness

Podcast

In this episode: Janet responds to a question from a parent on her Facebook page whose 3-year-old is exhibiting what she describes as excessive emotional outbursts. “I’m trying to reassure myself that this is normal,” she writes. “It’s like we have to constantly walk on eggshells… I’d love some reassurance and guidance.” Hi, this is … Continued

Recognizing the Cause of Disruptive, Aggressive Behavior

Podcast

In this episode: A parent writes that her 3-year-old has been having difficulties in playschool — hitting other kids, screaming, and not listening to the teacher. The behavior often continues at home, and this mom admits she “can’t manage to stay calm every time, so sometimes I yell too.” Her primary concern is that her … Continued

Boundaries That Encourage the Most Positive Sibling Relationships

Podcast

In this episode: A mother writes that her toddler son “can’t keep his hands off” his 10-month-old sister. She describes his demeanor as a mixture of excitement and affection, but she also senses an undertone of aggression. She wants them both to feel her support when they’re together in one space, but she finds herself … Continued

Children Hurting Themselves When They’re Upset

Podcast

In this episode: Janet answers a question from a parent whose toddler resorts to hurting himself when he’s angry or frustrated, and she’s wondering if there are some “better options” to teach him when he’s expressing his emotions. Transcript of “Children Hurting Themselves When They’re Upset” Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled. Today, I’m … Continued

When Your Child Seems Stuck Seeking Negative Attention

“In the past few weeks, our three-year-old has become increasingly aggressive towards his one-year-old brother and us. He constantly wants our attention, and when he doesn’t get it, he does something aggressive or too rough. He receives a lot of one-on-one attention from both his father and me daily. When this happens we calmly tell … Continued

The Hardest Thing to Remember When Your Child is Upset

I was running late for my parent-infant and toddler classes, and the only available parking spot required me to move a resident’s trash bins a few inches. As I locked my car and started down the block, an elderly man suddenly appeared and confronted me. “Why did you move those?!” he growled, pointing toward the … Continued

Age 4 Seems Like Another Planet

Podcast

In this episode: Janet responds to an email from a parent who describes herself as exhausted by her formerly good-natured toddler who has suddenly become defiant, argumentative and combative since turning 4. She says, ”I feel like a switch has flipped… and am clueless for how to deal with this new person.” Transcript of “Age … Continued

The Self-Care Parents Need Every Moment

I’ve been encouraged lately by a slew of online articles focusing on the importance of self-care. It’s one of the fundamental truths of successful parenting: Happy parents are better parents, which makes for happier kids. Self-care is not only unselfish, but mandatory for maintaining our sanity while raising healthy children. But even with all this … Continued

Being The Person Our Children Confide In

I loved my mom and always felt we were close, but I never told her the sorts of private things my daughter tells me.  There was plenty Mom did not know and that I didn’t want her to know. I sensed she didn’t really want to know, either, even though she adored me. Nothing is more … Continued

How to Handle Behavior We Can’t Physically Control

Podcast

In this episode: The mother of a 3-year-old feels she has very little control over some of her son’s unpleasant behavior, and she’s struggling to come up with appropriate responses. In her email to Janet, she cites examples like screaming, running away when she’s trying to dress him, and throwing himself to the ground. “How … Continued

My Toddler’s A Little Rough With The Baby

Podcast

In this episode: Janet responds to a mother struggling to moderate her toddler’s enthusiastic, energetic interactions with his 7-month-old sister. She believes that her son means well, but she’s afraid his play is too intense. “I want to encourage sibling play, but how do I get him to understand he can’t play that rough with … Continued

“Terrified I’ve Damaged My Spirited Daughter”

Podcast

In this episode: A mom writes that she’s recently noticed her 2.5 year old avoids looking her in the eye — as if she’s ashamed. She’s worried that her stern lecturing and irritation when setting limits has damaged her daughter’s spirit, and she wants to know if it’s too late to make reparations. Transcript of … Continued