The Self-Care Parents Need Every Moment

I’ve been encouraged lately by a slew of online articles focusing on the importance of self-care. It’s one of the fundamental truths of successful parenting: Happy parents are better parents, which makes for happier kids. Self-care is not only unselfish, but mandatory for maintaining our sanity while raising healthy children. But even with all this … Continued

Being The Person Our Children Confide In

I loved my mom and always felt we were close, but I never told her the sorts of private things my daughter tells me.  There was plenty Mom did not know and that I didn’t want her to know. I sensed she didn’t really want to know, either, even though she adored me. Nothing is more … Continued

How to Handle Behavior We Can’t Physically Control

Podcast

In this episode: The mother of a 3-year-old feels she has very little control over some of her son’s unpleasant behavior, and she’s struggling to come up with appropriate responses. In her email to Janet, she cites examples like screaming, running away when she’s trying to dress him, and throwing himself to the ground. “How … Continued

My Toddler’s A Little Rough With The Baby

Podcast

In this episode: Janet responds to a mother struggling to moderate her toddler’s enthusiastic, energetic interactions with his 7-month-old sister. She believes that her son means well, but she’s afraid his play is too intense. “I want to encourage sibling play, but how do I get him to understand he can’t play that rough with … Continued

“Terrified I’ve Damaged My Spirited Daughter”

Podcast

In this episode: A mom writes that she’s recently noticed her 2.5 year old avoids looking her in the eye — as if she’s ashamed. She’s worried that her stern lecturing and irritation when setting limits has damaged her daughter’s spirit, and she wants to know if it’s too late to make reparations. Transcript of … Continued

Stop Negotiating with Your Toddler (And What To Do Instead)

Hi Janet, I’ve read your article Common Discipline Mistakes as well as several others involving toddler behavior, and I’m still not sure how to best handle the actions of my almost three-year-old without punishments, which usually means taking away things like his toys. For example, I will give him two acceptable options to a situation, … Continued

Explosive Reactions to Minor Events

Podcast

In this episode: Janet responds to a question from her Facebook page from the mother of a 20-month-old who’s started to show his dissatisfaction with various situations by screaming, crying, and in some cases hitting. This mom says she typically handles it “by talking through his frustration with him,” and she’s wondering if there’s more … Continued

My Toddler’s Becoming a Bully

Podcast

In this episode: A mom writes to Janet wondering if she should give her 2-year-old a reprieve from socializing, since she can’t seem to get through a play date without either hitting, kicking or biting one of her peers. She wants to raise her daughter “to be kind and loving and safe around other people,” … Continued

The Most Powerful Way to Love a Child

I’m a hugger. Perhaps overly so, if that’s possible. I was reminded of my demonstrative tendencies recently when my 14-year-old’s tribe of buddies arrived at our home, each expecting his customary warm embrace from me. It was only slightly awkward when two boys walked in that I didn’t know as well. We chuckled a little … Continued

4-Year-Old Has Emotional, Aggressive Responses to Limits

Podcast

In this episode: A mom describes her daughter as “super easy, independent and happy” at school but emotional and defiant at home. She suspects her child is going through a “development leap” that will pass (she hopes!) but wonders how to handle her behavior in the meantime. Transcript of “4-Year-Old Has Emotional, Aggressive Responses to … Continued

Intense Difficulties with a Child’s Defiance and Resistance

Podcast

In this episode: Janet responds to a letter from a single working mother who describes her relationship with her 4-year old as close and respectful, yet her daughter’s behavior is exhausting and concerning. This mum is overwhelmed and is desperately seeking advice and hope. Transcript of “Intense Difficulties with a Child’s Defiance and Resistance” Hi, … Continued

Helping Our Children Say “I’m Sorry”

Podcast

In this episode: The mother of a four-year-old is frustrated that her child will never say “I’m sorry” when he’s done something wrong. She has tried both gentle and more forceful approaches, as well as attempting to help him understand the spirit and intent of an apology, all to no effect. Transcript of “Helping Our … Continued

Empowering a Passive or “Shy” Child

In the twenty years that I’ve facilitated parent-toddler groups, I’ve known a handful of toddlers that I’d consider to be socially gifted. These children seem to have an innate knack for engaging with peers effectively and appropriately from the get-go.  For the majority of toddlers, however, mastering the ins and outs of socialization is a … Continued