Emma Nadler is a psychotherapist, author, and parent whose life was changed forever when doctors informed her that her second child, Eden, had a rare genetic condition. As she became familiar with the complexities of her daughter’s diagnosis, Emma had to confront her preconceptions of motherhood, self-judgment, and especially her tendency toward perfectionism. In her … Continued
Cassandra Lane is an author, Editor-in-Chief of LA Parent Magazine, and a mother (something she vowed she would never be). She joins Janet to discuss her new book We Are Bridges in which her personal journey from a childhood of poverty and racism to motherhood is juxtaposed against the traumas and upheavals of her ancestors. Her … Continued
Janet shares a parent’s dramatic story recounting how she overcame her fear and doubt to allow her 6-year-old to express explosive emotions. In a wonderfully detailed e-mail to Janet, this mom describes a feeling of distance from her son and the respectful – albeit difficult, loud and sometimes scary – steps she took to welcome … Continued
The madness began at snack time, which we offer in our RIE parenting classes once the babies are all mobile and able to sit independently. Participation in snack time is always the children’s choice, and they quickly learn and enjoy the routine. They are requested to sit on the floor at the snack table (or … Continued
Very young children, the ailing, and the elderly are the most vulnerable members of society, so it’s only logical that they should be treated with even more thoughtfulness and respect than those capable of expressing their needs or fending for themselves. Unfortunately, society doesn’t always follow logic. Instead, we think nothing of abruptly scooping infants … Continued
Physician and author Gabor Maté joins Janet to discuss the importance of developing secure attachments with our kids and why it’s crucial for us to continue nurturing these bonds into their adulthood. How do we remain our children’s most trusted influences while also encouraging their natural drive toward individuation? Can we maintain our role as … Continued
We’re trying to be there for our kids, let them know we care, and give them positive, healthy messages about their feelings. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who worries that when she tries to comfort her upset 3-year-old daughter, the child seems ashamed about her feelings, even … Continued
Janet consults with a couple who feel at odds with their 4-year-old at bedtime. “She stalls, refuses or delays putting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, getting in bed, and staying in bed.” She’s also uncooperative in the mornings. The parents have conflicting ideas about how they should handle her behavior and hope Janet can … Continued
Most of us wouldn’t consider it part of our job to allow the small children in our care to grieve. And yet, our lives are filled with losses—some are significant, most are minor. The way we process feelings of loss can have profound, lasting effects on our mental health and overall quality of life. In … Continued
A parent writes that with her firstborn, she had listened to Janet’s advice and used many of her parenting methods with great success. To her surprise and relief, motherhood was relatively easy, and “I had friends comment how amazing I was as a mother.” After the births of her second and third child, however, things deteriorated. … Continued
(Transcript includes an updated response from the parent who requested Janet’s advice.) As parents, we are prone to worry, and a common concern is that our kids don’t seem motivated enough. Perhaps they aren’t mastering certain skills as quickly as we think they should or could—physically, cognitively, creatively, or socially. They might seem disinterested in … Continued
Janet shares words of support. Transcript of “Caring for Our Children and Ourselves in Tragic Times” Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled. Today I’m going to be talking about caring for ourselves and our children in times of crisis, like this crisis that our whole world seems to be in right now. And … Continued
How can we help our kids overcome their fears? Most of us have the instinct to provide comfort with messages like “don’t worry, you’re safe, it will be alright.” In this episode, Janet explains why our children often need more than our reassurance, even when their fears seem unreasonable or overblown. The key: validating and … Continued
