Our Children Choose Us

Many of us have the sense that the children in our care chose us. We feel it especially when a child’s needs tap into our weaknesses, we are forced to adjust, and that adjustment makes us change for the better.  It is as if their souls zeroed in on us and decided, “That woman and that man, those future brothers and sisters need lessons I can provide. I’ll help them grow.  I’ll be their teacher.”   I...

You’ll Be Sorry – Children and Apologies

Parenting can be a humbling and embarrassing experience, especially when we find ourselves at the mercy of our children’s guilelessness. Children say and do what they feel. While this instinct is endearing, even admirable, it can also be a bit awkward in the moment when, for example, our daughter spots a topless man in the market and shouts, “He’s so hairy!” (Of course, he may have deserved that, and we do...

Free As a Dog (Parenting With Calm Control)

With interest, amusement and head-nodding understanding I read the recent New York Times article “Becoming the Alpha Dog in Your Own Home.” Cesar Millan, TV’s Dog Whisperer, is inspiring armies of parents to use his dog training techniques to bring the security of order and discipline to their children’s lives. Parents are realizing that children, like dogs, need an able pack leader. But if the Alpha dog is...

Child’s Need for Boundaries – No Walk in the Park

When an infant approaches the end of his first year, parents begin to struggle with boundaries. Soft-hearted parents allow a child to climb all over them in my parent/infant class. The child is searching for limits and boundaries for his behavior. But moms and dads are often afraid to say, “I don’t want you to climb on me. You can sit with me. If you need to climb, there is a climbing structure over there.”...