Car Seat Tantrums – Handled With Respect

True story: Holly was a tentative mom, someone who avoided setting limits. She told me she was having an impossible time getting three-year-old Eliza to sit in her car seat. She screamed, threw a fit and flat out refused to cooperate. I recommended to Holly that she say, “I know you don’t want to, but you must sit in your car seat” and then physically place Eliza into the seat. Holly reported back to me that...

An Expectant Dad Ponders Discipline

I am currently in a debate with my significant other as to how we want to discipline our child when the situation calls for it. She is 10 weeks pregnant and it’s kind of early, I know, to be talking about this, but it’s just something that keeps coming up, and we can’t seem to come into an agreement on anything. She doesn’t like the idea of negative reinforcement but I feel it is important. I...

“We Don’t Want To Spank”

Hi Janet, I am 9 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and my son is now 14 months old. He is a very happy boy, but loves getting into EVERYTHING! When we say no, he has started throwing tantrums, crying, flailing himself as we try to pick him up, etc. He also pinches my face, scratches my arm, hits me and grabs my glasses. Lately we have had a lot of stress in our life due to circumstances out of our control, but my son has...

Dealing With Diaper Changing Disasters

Dear Janet, I stumbled upon your website a few weeks ago and have been slowly reading my way through the articles (which I love!). I appreciate your guidance and your gentle and respectful approach to parenting. I am a single mom to a 14-month old baby boy, Aidan. While he is a delight 99.99% of the time, he is now starting to test his boundaries and check out his (and my!) limits during diaper changes. He kicks,...

Going Against A Toddler’s Will (A Tough Pill To Swallow)

Hi Janet, I wrote to you last fall with a question about my then-1-year-old and our issues with bath time. Your advice was great, and we got over that hurdle, but I’m hoping you can share your experience and insight with me in another area. My daughter is now close to 2 and a half, and a daily vitamin has always been a part of our routine without any problems. For the past few months, she refuses to take the...

Gentle Discipline In Action (Seeing Is Believing)

Do toddlers like to learn rules and follow directions? Are they capable of restraint, making decisions, self-discipline, patience, even unsolicited acts of kindness? Seeing is believing. In this brief video, not just one, but five extraordinary 14 to 18 month old toddlers demonstrate these things and more… (No actors were hired!) This is the first few minutes of snack time (traditionally consisting of bananas and...

What To Do When Toddlers Say NO

Hi Janet, I am at a bit of a loss as to how to move forward with my son. He is 26 months and has recently started saying ‘no’ to all of my requests, regardless of what they are. My husband and I try very hard to pose our responses positively, avoiding ‘no’ as much as possible.  Rather than ‘no throwing food’, we would say ‘please leave your food on your plate’. So, we...

How To Be The Gentle Leader Your Child Needs

A frustrated, exhausted mom wants to treat her 3 year old more gently and less punitively. Ironically, the way to do that may be to become a stronger leader. The freedom we all feel deep within ourselves comes once we understand where we stand in the scheme of things – Magda Gerber Janet, On a day when I felt like I have failed as a parent, I found your blog. I have read and read and read — article and...