Stop Negotiating with Your Toddler (And What To Do Instead)

Hi Janet, I’ve read your article Common Discipline Mistakes as well as several others involving toddler behavior, and I’m still not sure how to best handle the actions of my almost three-year-old without punishments, which usually means taking away things like his toys. For example, I will give him two acceptable options to a situation, … Continued

Explosive Reactions to Minor Events

Podcast

In this episode: Janet responds to a question from her Facebook page from the mother of a 20-month-old who’s started to show his dissatisfaction with various situations by screaming, crying, and in some cases hitting. This mom says she typically handles it “by talking through his frustration with him,” and she’s wondering if there’s more … Continued

My Toddler’s Becoming a Bully

Podcast

In this episode: A mom writes to Janet wondering if she should give her 2-year-old a reprieve from socializing, since she can’t seem to get through a play date without either hitting, kicking or biting one of her peers. She wants to raise her daughter “to be kind and loving and safe around other people,” … Continued

The Most Powerful Way to Love a Child

I’m a hugger. Perhaps overly so, if that’s possible. I was reminded of my demonstrative tendencies recently when my 14-year-old’s tribe of buddies arrived at our home, each expecting his customary warm embrace from me. It was only slightly awkward when two boys walked in that I didn’t know as well. We chuckled a little … Continued

4-Year-Old Has Emotional, Aggressive Responses to Limits

Podcast

In this episode: A mom describes her daughter as “super easy, independent and happy” at school but emotional and defiant at home. She suspects her child is going through a “development leap” that will pass (she hopes!) but wonders how to handle her behavior in the meantime. Transcript of “4-Year-Old Has Emotional, Aggressive Responses to … Continued

Intense Difficulties with a Child’s Defiance and Resistance

Podcast

In this episode: Janet responds to a letter from a single working mother who describes her relationship with her 4-year old as close and respectful, yet her daughter’s behavior is exhausting and concerning. This mum is overwhelmed and is desperately seeking advice and hope. Transcript of “Intense Difficulties with a Child’s Defiance and Resistance” Hi, … Continued

Helping Our Children Say “I’m Sorry”

Podcast

In this episode: The mother of a four-year-old is frustrated that her child will never say “I’m sorry” when he’s done something wrong. She has tried both gentle and more forceful approaches, as well as attempting to help him understand the spirit and intent of an apology, all to no effect. Transcript of “Helping Our … Continued

Empowering a Passive or “Shy” Child

In the twenty years that I’ve facilitated parent-toddler groups, I’ve known a handful of toddlers that I’d consider to be socially gifted. These children seem to have an innate knack for engaging with peers effectively and appropriately from the get-go.  For the majority of toddlers, however, mastering the ins and outs of socialization is a … Continued

My Child Is Too Passive

Podcast

In this episode: A parent describes her 26-month-old as “too passive” and is confused about how to react when she witnesses other children taking his toys, hitting, or yelling at him.

How to Calm an Angry Child

Anger is an emotion we can all relate to, but it can be incredibly hard for us to allow our children to express it. They need to. If kids can’t share their anger, it doesn’t cease to exist. It festers, usually causing more frequent and intense flare-ups, discharged in bursts of impulsive limit-pushing behavior. It … Continued

What to Do Instead of Time Out

Podcast

In this episode: Janet shares a recent exchange with a mom requesting “alternatives to time out when natural consequences aren’t appropriate.” The parent wonders how to intervene with her toddler when she is possessive and aggressive around other kids. Transcript of “What to Do Instead of Time Out” Hi, This is Janet Lansbury, and welcome … Continued

Finding The Right Tone For Setting Limits

Podcast

In this episode: a parent is having difficulty convincing her 10-month old that pulling mommy’s hair is not a good game, but her son is not getting the message. Transcript of “Finding The Right Tone For Setting Limits” Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. And in this episode of Unruffled, I’m going to respond to a … Continued