A mother reaches out to Janet because her 3-year old’s behavior has recently become erratic and unpleasant, and she’s struggling to make sense of it. She writes that her boy is strong-willed, smart, kind, high energy and wonderful to be around. But lately he’s quick to anger, throws things, screams NO to simple requests, is … Continued
Parenting is a tough job and, if you’re like many of us, navigating effective discipline is the most challenging part of it. We need clarity! For this reason, many have appreciated Janet’s recent episode: “Strict is Loving”. You’ve also had questions—lots of questions—in regard to walking (what can seem to be) the fine line between … Continued
A mom fears that her gentle, respectful approach to her toddler’s feelings and behaviors is too permissive and isn’t teaching her to treat others with kindness and respect. She says she’s been following Janet’s approach from the beginning, but when her daughter kicks and screams and generally melts down, she can’t help but question if simply … Continued
Janet consults with a single mom who is alarmed by her toddler’s strong reactions and aggressive behavior. She seems easily and almost constantly upset—hits, pushes, and bites her mother and brother—and won’t be consoled. “When she is crying for a little while because of me taking something away, I console her and say, ‘I know … Continued
When our kids’ behavior seems negative or inappropriate, we know we should disallow it. But what if the behavior continues? Or goes from bad to worse? What is our child needing from us or telling us that we’re missing? There’s often a simple, yet easy to overlook, answer. In this episode, Janet responds to notes from … Continued
Our child’s uncomfortable feelings can manifest in many ways, the most obvious being tantrums, meltdowns, or long lasting monsoonal crying jags. Often, those feelings are expressed in behaviors, sometimes aggressive. The two emails Janet addresses in this episode come from parents whose kids’ rocky moods and behaviors are persistent, no matter how much patience, love, … Continued
Our kids’ behavior can be mystifying, aggravating, worrying, and sometimes even infuriating. While the answers for resolving our concerns tend to be specific and unique to each particular situation, there are also general themes that can guide us. Janet explores one such theme in this week’s episode and explains how it applies to 3 different … Continued
We all experience difficult moments with our kids, and it’s not uncommon for us to lose confidence in ourselves or feel stuck. Need a parenting boost? In this special episode, Janet shares 7 of her go-to parenting power tools, mindsets, and mantras geared to help you focus your energies most effectively and (if needed) make positive, … Continued
Eileen Henry is a pioneering sleep consultant who for decades has helped exhausted, concerned parents guide their infants and toddlers to more restorative sleep. As Janet’s guest this week, Eileen shares her wisdom and detailed suggestions in response to emails from Unruffled listeners struggling mightily with their toddlers at bedtime. A one-year-old seems to get increasingly wound up … Continued
“Mine! No, he can’t touch that!” Does this sound familiar? No worries. In their early years, children commonly go through phases of possessiveness that can seem totally unreasonable and extreme. They may want everything their sibling or peer shows interest in and try to take it. They refuse to share. In this episode, Janet explains why this … Continued
A parent writes that with her firstborn, she had listened to Janet’s advice and used many of her parenting methods with great success. To her surprise and relief, motherhood was relatively easy, and “I had friends comment how amazing I was as a mother.” After the births of her second and third child, however, things deteriorated. … Continued
From Janet’s inbox: A parent wonders if reminding her 3-year-old of negative consequences to his uncooperative behavior is the same as using threats or manipulation. She writes that her goal is not only to help him move through transitions with less pushback, but to learn the concept of time, how to manage it, and to … Continued
Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they’ll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t stand up for themselves, it’s easy to assume that their lack of assertiveness is derived … Continued
