Hitting, Screaming, Calling Us Names (and What We Can do About it)


Janet helps a struggling parent understand her spirited toddler’s aggressive behavior and offers suggestions to respond more effectively. Transcript of “Hitting, Screaming, Calling Us Names (and What We Can do About it)” Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled. In this episode, I’m going to be responding to a question I received via email, … Continued

My Child Won’t Stop Hitting


In this episode: A parent says she feels helpless because her 2-year-old has been hitting other kids. She says her son loves people and enjoys playing with others, but parents are now keeping their kids away from him. She has tried several approaches, but nothing has worked, so she’s looking to Janet for some fresh … Continued

Aggressive Toddler Behavior (Hitting, Biting, Spitting)


In this episode: Janet responds to a father whose 2.5-year-old is acting out at home and at school by biting, hitting, and sometimes spitting when she doesn’t get her way. The toddler’s dad says he’s tried a respectful approach to curb her behavior, but it seems to be getting worse. This is Janet Lansbury, and … Continued

My Preschooler is Hitting Me

Hi Janet, My 3.5 year old has suddenly starting hitting, throwing things, and biting my husband and me.  Most of what I read seems to apply to toddlers and those with lack of language, but since my son is older and has very advanced language, neither of these apply. During the 2’s he was an … Continued

Biting, Hitting, Kicking And Other Challenging Toddler Behavior

We’re big. They’re tiny. They’re just learning our rules and expectations for appropriate behavior. They have a developmental need to express their will, and they have very little (if any) impulse control. With these complicated, powerful dynamics in play, why would we take our toddler’s hitting, biting, resistance or refusal to cooperate personally? We get … Continued

It Works! Parents Report Powerful Benefits From Allowing Kids’ Feelings


Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart into a place where we can calm ourselves enough to genuinely listen, and accept with compassion rather than judgment. In … Continued

Problems With Other People’s Children


As conscious parents, we’re doing our best to learn to anticipate and respond effectively to our children’s behaviors and needs. However, the behaviors of the other children in our kids’ lives—friends, relatives, new acquaintances in public environments—are far less predictable. It’s inevitable our kids will encounter situations that confuse, baffle, or even frighten them. So, … Continued

More Kids, More Conflict — How Can We Keep the Peace?


The parent of three young boys is struggling to deal with their demands and the conflicts between them. If she accommodates one boy’s wishes, the other two react with an opposing desire, jealousy, and fighting. She’s wondering how to cope with her situation when everything feels like a compromise. “Most of the time I feel … Continued

Navigating Get-Togethers with Relatives, Friends, and Their Kids


We may not always agree with the parenting styles of our relatives and friends, and that’s okay. Get-togethers can still be enjoyable, positive social experiences for us and for our kids. In this episode, Janet offers her perspective on some of the common challenges that arise in gatherings with friends, family, and in public situations with … Continued

End of the Day Crazies with Kids


Many of us imagine late afternoons or evenings with our children as the perfect time to wind down and connect after a busy day. Unfortunately, this is often precisely when our children need to unload the day’s stresses. Which means that instead of enjoying restorative quality time together, we’re faced with challenging behavior, high emotions, and discontent. Janet unpacks some of the reasons why evenings … Continued

How Sportscasting Helps Kids Develop Social Intelligence


Janet responds to a mother who writes that she tries to sportscast disagreements between her older two children, but since the 2-year-old isn’t verbal yet, “it’s hard when I don’t really know what he’s thinking.” She’s wondering how to sportscast situations effectively without making assumptions about what her boy may be thinking or feeling in … Continued