1. It’s become increasingly clear to me that the written word alone is less than ideal for conveying the subtleties and nuances integral to respectful parenting. Many misinterpretations and misconceptions have come to my attention in the almost 6 years I’ve been writing about RIE parenting. These misconceptions will be easy to clarify through my podcasts.
2. Parents in my classes have been expressing to me lately how much they appreciate (and even need) my weekly in-person demonstrations of the tone and feel of respectful limit setting. Engaging with young children with respect is still, unfortunately, countercultural and can feel counterintuitive, so we need all the reminders and modeling we can get.
3. My books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting have been extremely popular on Audible.
4. The response to the few podcasts I’ve shared in my posts has been enthusiastic. Listeners have shared that my audio descriptions and demonstrations are what finally got them over the hump to truly understanding and being able to implement respectful parenting practices.
5. Last, but not least, I realized that I can do these podcasts without prep work (which was the daunting part for me) by simply providing my off- the- cuff responses to the questions readers send me via email, Facebook, etc. So these will be similar to my phone consultations, but without the back-and-forth with the parents. Basically, I’ll be having lively conversations with myself.
In the future, I plan to ask other parenting advisers and early childhood educators, particularly RIE Associate Lisa Sunbury (from regardingbaby.org), to co-host so I have a real live person to discuss issues with, and I’m also hoping to share actual recordings of some of my parent consultations (if I can get volunteers).
But to start out with, it will just be me and written questions like this one that I answer in the premiere episode of Janet Lansbury Unruffled:
Hi! I read your book and love it! I love the communication tips and acknowledgment. It’s along the lines of how we parent our almost 3.5 and almost 5 year old girls. But what drives me insane is the verbal incessant demands / screams. While the girls follow directions and don’t bite, hit or kick they do yell at me a LOT. I try to acknowledge their feelings while holding the boundaries firm and they are strong, insistent little people. They ask for something. I say no. They say, “But I want it.” I explain why the answer is no and offer other options if possible and they just start yelling about how they want it. I acknowledge they’re upset and frustrated. And then the screaming continues. The worst is in the car. I can’t say “I won’t let you yell at me” because I can’t stop them. It makes me want to just cry. While I remain calm, inside I feel trapped and tortured. I don’t want to pull over because I want to get to my destination. I have just been feeling beat up by the yelling and that they won’t stop arguing the boundaries. I feel like I’m doing something wrong because I am feeling annoyed. I don’t know how to fix it. Thanks in advance if you can help!
Here’s my response:
Thanks for listening! If you found this podcast helpful and would like a notification for next week’s episode, please subscribe to Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher. I will not be writing more blog posts about this series (though I will periodically post the links on my Facebook page).
(Photo by the wonderful Sara Prince!)
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