A parent is concerned and torn about her 18-month-old daughter’s swim lessons, because the toddler cries the entire time. This mom says: “I struggle with giving her bodily autonomy and respect while forcing her to take swim classes for her safety.” She is hoping Janet can help her reconcile her conflicted feelings. Transcript of “Water … Continued
In this episode, Janet shares what she describes as her most valuable advice for parents — a mindset that brings clarity to our role in our children’s lives, makes our job more enjoyable and successful, and may even offer us personal growth. Janet explains why and how this perspective works, offers practical examples, and touches … Continued
“Life in lockdown” is heightening a parent’s struggles with her 3-year-old’s uncooperative, defiant behavior, and this mom’s patience is wearing thin. When she tries to correct her daughter’s behavior, or if she asks for her cooperation with calm and reason, she ends up repeating herself again and again and raising her voice. This escalation makes … Continued
In this episode: Janet shares ideas for traveling with small children that help us tune in to their perspectives, deepen our parent-child connection, and create a more joyful experience for all. Transcript of “Traveling with Babies, Toddlers, Preschoolers (8 Tips)” Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled. Today I’m going to do something a … Continued
In this episode: Janet responds to a dad who’s feeling guilty for restraining his 3-year-old daughter and forcibly brushing her teeth when she refused to do so herself. “I didn’t use hurtful force,” he writes, “but her protestations were so strong that I felt as if I was crossing a boundary.” This dad is wondering … Continued
In this episode: Janet continues her conversation with Laura Grace Weldon, author of Free Range Learning, about how parents can facilitate their children’s natural instincts to discover and learn in a conventional school system. Laura and Janet share their personal experiences as parents and discuss what they’ve learned while parenting their own children through a … Continued
In this episode: Janet responds to an email from a parent who describes herself as exhausted by her formerly good-natured toddler who has suddenly become defiant, argumentative and combative since turning 4. She says, ”I feel like a switch has flipped… and am clueless for how to deal with this new person.” Transcript of “Age … Continued
In this episode: Janet responds to a mother struggling to moderate her toddler’s enthusiastic, energetic interactions with his 7-month-old sister. She believes that her son means well, but she’s afraid his play is too intense. “I want to encourage sibling play, but how do I get him to understand he can’t play that rough with … Continued
Hi Janet, Please help! I’m having to rethink my strategies with my 4-year-old. Normally bedtime is effortless — a great routine, quality time, and straight down. The only caveat is that I’ve used TV as an incentive and threaten to cancel play dates the next day if she doesn’t stay in bed (and have consistently followed … Continued
The intense performance pressure many of us feel as new parents combined with all the physical challenges — sleep deprivation, hormonal changes, recovery from the birth, etc. — can easily launch us into a cycle of anxiety. This is compounded in cases where our baby faces health complications, colic, or other issues. I’ve been there … Continued
Sleep topics tend to be a hotbed for firmly held opinions and blanket judgments. Even experts make pronouncements like: “Babies can’t ____,” “All infants need ___,” “Parents should always ___ and must never, ever ___.” The problem with these staunch views is that they dismiss the one expert who can truly show us the way, … Continued
Whether our child’s temperament is placid and agreeable, strong-willed and intense, or something in between, all children have one need in common: our respectful, confident leadership. But with the dearth of respectful care models in our society, it can be tricky to grasp what confident leadership actually looks and sounds like. One of the common … Continued
With the knowledge that it almost certainly takes two to tango, it should be easy for us to avoid engaging in power struggles with our kids, right? Um… not always. Here are some of the understandable reasons we might get caught in a battle of wills: We want our kids to be well-behaved, respect our … Continued
