This week Janet consults with the single mother of a 2.5-year-old who’s concerned about how she’s handling her daughter’s behaviors. She describes her toddler as strong-willed, smart, intuitive, loving, sweet, and caring, but when she doesn’t get what she wants, she loses it, throwing things, hitting, and screaming. This parent realizes that her daughter’s behavior … Continued
How do we stay unruffled when our children are anything but? It’s never easy, but in this episode Janet shares the personal mindset that has helped her most, and gets SO much easier with practice. She also shares a success story from a parent who is walking through her own fears to be the parent … Continued
What do children need from us when they’re experiencing intense feelings? What are the best things to say and do to calm their emotional storms? Janet responds to notes from three insightful professionals who express concerns that what they’re doing isn’t working. Janet validates their perspectives and explains why. Then she offers specific recommendations for navigating … Continued
After reading Janet’s book, No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame, a parent has some practical follow-up questions about his daughter’s behaviors; specifically in regard to tantrums, mealtime boundaries, and cooperation in cleaning up her messes. This dad says there are certain “values/etiquette” he would like his daughter to learn, but he realizes these qualities … Continued
In this episode: Janet responds to an email from a parent says she feels like a failure when dealing with her two-year-old’s tantrums. She writes: “We’ve been great at heading them off before they begin and recognizing why they’re happening, but we are completely at a loss what to do once we’re stuck with one.” … Continued
In this episode: A parent writes that her 18-month-old “has been testing the limits with tantrums.” At home, she and her husband try to ignore the behavior or redirect. In public, however, they tend to give in to their daughter’s demands. She writes, “I’d hate for her to learn she get her way by throwing … Continued
In this episode: A parent writes that her 2-year-old is deep in a “want to do it myself” phase. While she recognizes her son’s need for autonomy and self-sufficiency, she admits that she often runs out of patience, which results in him having a full blown meltdown or tantrum. She’s wondering how she might “set … Continued
I’ve hesitated to share this secret because I worry it seems silly. Then it occurred to me that if I’m really striving to provide a complete parenting “toolbox” on this blog, I can’t not include a practice, however inane, that has been essential to my own sanity and to raising three kids who are healthier … Continued
Hi Janet, I need some advice. Mia has gotten into screaming tantrums if we ask her to do anything she might not want to do: wear blue pants, come to dinner, brush her teeth. During the day I’m good at remaining calm, ignoring the tantrum, and then she stops really quickly. Recently, she’s started screaming about … Continued
What do we do when our child erupts into a full-blown tantrum—suddenly becoming what author Loryn Brantz calls a “spicy nugget”? The award-winning author and illustrator returns to Unruffled to talk about her new children’s book, “I Am a Spicy Nugget.” Loryn and Janet unpack what actually happens in those moments—for the child, and for the adult trying … Continued
What if the parenting approach that’s supposed to make family life easier is actually making it harder? Many parents are discovering that what they thought was “gentle parenting” leaves them exhausted, second-guessing themselves, and struggling to set limits. Janet explains why the answer isn’t a different label — it’s confident leadership — and how this … Continued
Effective discipline can be confusing! It can feel like we’re working so hard to be caring, empathetic, and patient with our kids—and not lose our temper—yet still, the challenging behaviors keep happening. And then when we try to set boundaries, our child has a meltdown that seems to last forever. What are we doing wrong? … Continued
Bossiness. Toy taking. Unkind words. Hitting. Behaviors like these are particularly common between siblings but can happen with peers as well, and they’re frustrating and disturbing for us to witness. How to we address them? Separate the warring factions? Issue a mandate? Negotiate a settlement? Perhaps just let it play out? In this episode, a … Continued
