How To Handle Your Toddler’s Intensity

Hi Janet, My son is 3 years old and is a very happy child! He is at a RIE accredited Montessori school since he was little. I’m a working mom. I will never forget that after his first days at the infant room, his teacher told me that it was amazing how much he observed. His eyes did not stop moving one side to the other. She used the term busy but at that point and being a first time mom, it did not mean a lot...

“We Don’t Want To Spank”

Hi Janet, I am 9 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and my son is now 14 months old. He is a very happy boy, but loves getting into EVERYTHING! When we say no, he has started throwing tantrums, crying, flailing himself as we try to pick him up, etc. He also pinches my face, scratches my arm, hits me and grabs my glasses. Lately we have had a lot of stress in our life due to circumstances out of our control, but my son has...

These Toddlers Are NOT Sharing

Do a pair of one-year-olds squabbling over plastic hair rollers sound like fun to you? My guess is an unqualified ‘no’, but infants and toddlers define fun, play and learning quite differently than their elders. They approach social situations, even those that turn into minor conflicts, with curiosity and openness. Observing infant and toddler interactions over the years, I’ve learned that babies have volumes...

Dealing With Diaper Changing Disasters

Dear Janet, I stumbled upon your website a few weeks ago and have been slowly reading my way through the articles (which I love!). I appreciate your guidance and your gentle and respectful approach to parenting. I am a single mom to a 14-month old baby boy, Aidan. While he is a delight 99.99% of the time, he is now starting to test his boundaries and check out his (and my!) limits during diaper changes. He kicks,...

How To Be The Gentle Leader Your Child Needs

A frustrated, exhausted mom wants to treat her 3 year old more gently and less punitively. Ironically, the way to do that may be to become a stronger leader. The freedom we all feel deep within ourselves comes once we understand where we stand in the scheme of things – Magda Gerber Janet, On a day when I felt like I have failed as a parent, I found your blog. I have read and read and read — article and...

Breaking An Abusive Cycle Through AP And RIE (Guest Post by Suchada from Mama Eve)

Please, don’t let them grow up like me…  I have three vivid memories of growing up: The first is of my mother when I was five or six years old. I was getting ready for school and had difficulty putting my shoes on the correct feet (being slightly dyslexic), and my mother went ballistic. She hit me, over and over, all while yelling at me how stupid I was for not having it figured out by now. The second...

Can Babies Love Too Much? – Teaching Children To Give Affection With Respect

I’m not one to question the value of demonstrative love and affection.  Giving hugs is such a reflex for me that I embarrass myself by hugging people I barely know. I’ll often come to my senses midway through the ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye’ hug — too late to catch myself. This creates some awkward moments, but (I hope) my kind intentions are understood.   But with children, especially infants and...

The Baby Social Scene – 5 Hints For Creating Safe And Joyful Playgroups

A recent post, Is Your Baby A Bully? Genius? Shy? Why We Should Lose Labels, stirred up unexpected controversy. Several parents were apparently shocked by my suggestion that babies could play together with minimal intervention, without adults reminding the babies to share, or asking them to give something back because “so-and-so had it first”.  The comments that surprised me most...