elevating child care

Parenting ideas that fly.

I am Janet Lansbury. Welcome to my blog. As Janet Julian, I acted and modeled for many years, but it wasn't until I became a mother and sought guidance from infant expert Magda Gerber that I found my life's work: parent education. Since 1994, I have enjoyed teaching RIE parenting classes in Los Angeles.



I have also been a presenter at early childhood conferences, written infant/toddler parenting articles, and served on the board of directors of Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE). Raising a child is one of the most important and challenging jobs we will ever have. It brings a considerable amount of joy. It can also be confusing, discouraging and haphazard. My goal is to provide clarity, inspiration (and maybe a smile or two) by sharing insights I've gained through my parenting classes, my experiences as a mother, and studies with my friend and mentor Magda Gerber. This blog is dedicated to her memory.

Becoming a Peaceful Leader for Your Strong-Willed Child

In my quest to convey ideas and advice that make raising children both easier and more enjoyable, I rely on feedback. The questions, comments, and personal experiences parents and professionals share help me learn how to communicate respectful care practices more clearly and effectively. I’m guided by hearing what resonates, shifts perspective, and what helps people get unstuck or turn a corner. I recently had the...

When Sleep Isn’t Working (Guest Post by Eileen Henry)

What does it feel like when sleep is working in a family? This is a very satisfying time when babies, toddlers and parents are all getting restful, rejuvenating and dependable sleep, when both bedtime and nap are peaceful, relaxed, serene and certain. Although this may sound like a dream, sleep that truly works can become a part of any family’s daily and nightly reality. Alex phoned me for a consultation about her...

7 Reasons to Stop Judging (and Start Trusting) Sibling Play

It can be incredibly challenging to refrain from judging sibling play when behavior seems unfair, aggressive or rude. I am very aware of this from my own experience as a parent. Obviously, we must always intervene when children are hurting each other, but even in those cases, I’ve learned that we are most effective in both the short and long term when we remove our judgmental adult lenses and intervene from a...

It’s Okay to be Scared – 5 Steps for Easing Bedtime Fears

Accepting our children’s emotions sounds simple in theory, but for most parents I know (and me) this is an enormous challenge. The powerful instinct we have to alleviate our children’s discomforts is, obviously, healthy and positive when their feelings reflect a need that we can fill, like offering food when they’re hungry or helping them to bed when they’re tired. But just as often, children have feelings...

My Child is Acting Like a Baby

“I’m a bit lost. My older child is 2 years and 10 months old. For the past week he’s been telling me he’s a baby. I acknowledge his comments by playing pretend that he’s a baby, but I’m concerned about whether I’m doing the right thing. He asks to be fed (when he has been doing it on his own for a year), and he wants to be picked up all the time. I wonder if jealousy finally...

The Breastfeeding Challenge

“Take the telephone off the hook before you intend to feed, bathe or diaper your baby, and tell your infant, ‘I’m going to take the phone off the hook so nobody will disturb us, because now I really want to be just with you.’ (When you say it, you reinforce yourself.) ‘Unbusy’ your head and ‘unbusy’ your body. Be fully there, interested only in your baby for that time. I...

How Children Really Learn Empathy

“Educators will tell you that a classroom full of empathetic kids simply runs more smoothly than one filled with even the happiest group of self-serving children. Similarly, family life is more harmonious when siblings are able feel for each other and put the needs of others ahead of individual happiness. If a classroom or a family full of caring children makes for a more peaceful and cooperative learning...

The Secret to Setting Limits (Without Bribes or Threats)

Hi Janet, Please help! I’m having to rethink my strategies with my 4-year-old.  Normally bedtime is effortless — a great routine, quality time, and straight down. The only caveat is that I’ve used TV as an incentive and threaten to cancel play dates the next day if she doesn’t stay in bed (and have consistently followed through). Now that I’ve removed this “motivation,”...

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