Please Don’t Take The Babies (Respecting Infant/Toddler Readiness)
Dear Janet
I’m not a parent so my question has a different angle, but I was still hoping for your opinion and advice.
I work in a childcare centre where I am the primary caregiver of 5 infants and toddlers varying between the ages of 3 months and 2 years.
Our centre plans a trip once a year where all the children on our roll go on an excursion that fits with the current interests of the children (somewhat!). This year, our management has organized a trip to an underwater world called Kelley Tarltons. We will travel by bus and our journey will be approximately 45-60 minutes long, depending on traffic. The plan is then that we will be at the venue for 2 hours before eating lunch there and returning home.
I feel that this is far too stressful and over-stimulating for the children in my group and have discussed this with management. Two of the five children in my group have more than one sleep per day, and the rest of them usually go to sleep at around 11am. We would not return from our trip until 1.30-2pm!
It seems as though I am the only staff member on the team who thinks it is unnecessary for the children under the age of two to attend these big field trips. Whenever I bring it up, everyone says it’s only one day and tells me I’m being over the top about the infants’ and toddlers’ routines. They argue that children do this sort of thing all the time with their parents and families, and that they will be missing out if they do not attend.
Am I being over the top? What is your opinion on big outings for small children? I know it’s only one day, but if I could avoid one day of stress and unpleasantness in my life, I know I would!!
Thanks in advance, I hope this made sense,
Kind Regards
Helen
Dear Helen,
Oh. My. Gosh.
This makes no sense at all. Helen, your instincts are absolutely spot on, and I’m stunned. If we were on the same continent you could see my jaw dropping. Infants and young toddlers taking a 5-hour group excursion for their own pleasure? So they won’t feel left out? What are these people thinking?
This, to me, is an unfortunate example of 1) childcare managers and professional caregivers without a clue about child development (evident beyond all doubt by their disregard for the perspective of the primary caregiver, the person who knows the children in her care best); and 2) the tendency all of us have to project our adult point of view onto our infants and toddlers. It sounds fun and stimulating to us, so it must be a good idea. It’s easy to make this misjudgment with pre-verbal children.
Do these mistakes harm babies? Probably not — even if they create stress, discomfort and exhaustion. But what these developmentally inappropriate activities are almost certain to do is waste a child’s time, time the child could be spending engaging in self-initiated learning adventures, creating and imagining, feeling content, secure and confident in familiar surroundings, socializing, free to move and explore, empowered by knowing the routine.
When my children were infants and toddlers, I had the sense that they shrunk every time I took them on an outing. They seemed so big and capable at home, kings and queens of their domain, but once they went out into the larger world they became small, more passive and a little more helpless — as if their powers had suddenly been stripped away.
Over-stimulation, unpredictability and the constant transitions that our infants and toddlers face on outings (going in and out of the car, the store, the restaurant, the bathroom, etc.), not to mention being restrained in seats for extended periods of time, are all fine in measured doses, but these are not the kinds of environments in which babies thrive and learn best.
Now, if we want to go somewhere or participate in an activity and need to include our infants and toddlers, that’s one thing… But what I’ve noticed over the years in myself and others is that we often forget to ask ourselves these questions: 1) “Who is this for?”; 2) “Are they really ready to actively participate in this experience, or would it be better to wait until they are a bit older?”; and 3) “Will this be more enriching than an afternoon dawdling in the backyard or a walk down the street?” (Hindsight being 20/20, I often realized I’d miscalculated #3 after the fact.)
Helen, I truly hope you can convince your staff that a glimpse of some lovely sea creatures is not worth the ordeal this field trip will be for you and the children. Even a two year old will enjoy the experience far more a year from now.
But either way, I am so glad these babies are in your care.
Warmly, Janet
In response (and I had included in my note to her a request to post our exchange), Helen wrote:
Hi Janet
Thanks so much for your speedy reply! You have certainly helped to ease my mind – I was starting to doubt my feelings!!
We are having a staff meeting next Monday and the trip will be on Friday so I’m really hoping I can make some changes for the sake of my little friends!
I’d be more than happy for you to re post my email on your blog. You needn’t change any of the information as I can 100% say that nobody from work will be reading it! And if they did, I wouldn’t be worried!
Thanks so much, Helen
For more (and the flip side of this coin) please read: Toddler Readiness – The Beauty Of Waiting
(Photo “Stop! I Want To Get Off!” is by comedy_nose on Flickr.)
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12 Responses to “Please Don’t Take The Babies (Respecting Infant/Toddler Readiness)”
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Wow, I’m shocked that the parents would be okay with such a field trip considering the young ages of the children. Kudos to Helen for realizing this is off-base.
Yes, exactly! And the argument Helen is hearing is interesting, “They argue that children do this sort of thing all the time with their parents and families, and that they will be missing out if they do not attend.” I almost get the feeling that the management believes the parents want this, that it will be impressive to them. It’s like the mostly-teacher-made crafts that some preschools send children home with every day. These products might impress parents, but have little or nothing to do with what’s good for the children.
I agree! This is crazy! Thank goodness these children have a teacher who is thinking of their needs and is willing to go out on a limb to express how ridiculous this really is!
Hi, I just wrote a long reply to this which disappeared as I missed the “CAPTCA Code”. But just to say that I work in an Early Childhoold Centre in the same country as Helen (I recognised the trip venue) and we only take our older children on trips like these- the oldest 20 or so, so usually all the 4 year olds and some 3 and a half year olds. Even the 3 and a half year olds find it quite demanding but they are generally aware enough that they still prefer to be included.
Our theory is that we are still including everyone by doing it this way as all the children will eventually get a turn when their time comes. In the meantime ones who stay behind enjoy a quiet peaceful morning without the “big kids”! So no one misses out in the long run.
Any parent who really thinks their baby or toddler would enjoy a trip to the aquarium is free to take them in their own time where they can better plan the day according to that child’s own routine.
We also try to take a less conventional approach to choosing our trip destinations and try to choose places where children get to touch, be physically active and engaged. We did go to our local aquarium once but it wasn’t that popular with teachers or children- not much touching and the rock pool they could touch had lots of rules about how to do it. Our children prefer “Clip N Climb”- climbing walls managable for all ages including preschoolers. Ten pin bowling was fun too.
All the best Helen, Elizabeth.
Hi Elizabeth! I’m so sorry you lost the long reply, but this is really helpful. Thank you for explaining how excursions like these can work well!
Janet, This post is so extremely valuable! It contributes to the much need understanding of all that is best for our young developing children. (As all of your posts do!)
Kudos Helen for sticking up for what is best for the children you obviously care about. It is clear you are an attuned caregiver! The children are fortunate to have you!
Thank you, Deborah. The insights you share with parents and early childhood educators about the developing brain are invaluable to me, and they always corroborate Magda Gerber’s child care approach.
Helen,
I agree with your frustration. The functional words are:
“..children do this sort of thing all the time with their parents and families,.. ”
What our school has done to avoid such compromises for the child is to have family field trip days. We design a focus trip and announce it well enough in advance so parents have ample time to schedule the day with their young child. Teachers are there, parents are there for as long as they choose, and children are more comfortable. It is a great bonding day for parents and teachers, as well.
Perhaps that can be a seed you plant for future trips with such small children.
At any rate….I support your position and can not imagine carting children that young on a field trip without the parents.
WOW! Thanks so much everyone for your awesome responses, I’m blown away!
The thing that really seems crazy to me, is that out of all the parents of my babies whom I have spoken to about this only two would rather their babies didn’t go on the trip. I think it has this level of ‘impressiveness’ that their baby would attend such an ‘educational’ field trip and Janet you are spot on about adults projecting their point of view onto the children.
Oh my word…why can’t we just let the babies be babies?!
I’ll get there one day! I’ve been feeling really downtrodden about the whole scenario and got to thinking “whats the point” as I observed one of my 10month old boys being manhandled without a word uttered in his direction. I began thinking that surely I wasn’t making any difference.
Then later in the afternoon, I went to him, knelt beside him with open arms and said “Could I pick you up my friend?”. To which he responded by rolling onto his back, lifting his arms to me and giving me the most beautiful grin!
Yes! It certainly is worth it!
I thought I would also add, that I have been to the FB group and seen the wonderfully encouraging words there too. You are all so fantastic!
Hi Janet,
Associated with a childcare centre from the same country where Helen comes from , I totally understand her worries and respect them.
Children in most centres here spend more time at the centre than the teachers do themselves. In fact most of their childhood is spent within the walls of their preschool. Their connectio with the outer world is very limited. I beleive that most centres organise trips in order to help make these connections, but who are these connections for? My ideal way to make connections with the outer world is to invite parents or extended families to share a morning or afternoon with us sometime, take our babies out for a walk to the local park where it is safe , and where the children can make connections with nature. This I beleive is meaningful towards a child’s learning as well as less stressful for the child . Not only is the fresh air good for the children but it also helps them with experiencing the natural world that our country is blessed with. Good on you Helen, I would be protesting too, if my centre took our babies to kelly Tarlton, especially when it involves children as young as three months.
First this is a great question and great answer and good comments to!! I personally would NEVER let a daycare take my baby anywhere!! I am wondering how the parents feel about there children getting on a bus and going an hour away from there facility… At least one of the CAREgivers actually CARES about her little ones
Wonderful discussion and I agree completely that this is an inappropriate choice of activity for this age group within a care setting.
I just wanted to add that I also think it’s a completely unreasonable expectation of the carer to cope with children that young outside of the centre. It’s hard enough coping with hygenic and appropriate feeding and nappy (diaper) changes within the walls of the centre without trying to meet the same standards with other people’s children in a public place, not to mention the physical difficulty of transporting those children around; are they giving you a one-to-one carer ratio, Helen? I would be absolutely cracking it at that meeting for both the children’s and the carer’s sakes.