Hitting, Screaming, Saying “You’re Stupid” And “Shut Up, Mom”

In this episode: Janet helps a struggling parent understand her spirited toddler’s aggressive behavior and offers suggestions to respond more effectively.


Please share your comments and questions. I read them all and respond to as many as time will allow.

  1. Thank you so much Janet you have been a life saver in my relationship with my daughter, helping me find clarity and the proper perspective when we are stuck in a destructive negative pattern. I am so thankful for your website and books. It changed my life! Thank you!

  2. I just discovered your podcasts and I am so grateful to you and your willingness to help parents! I don’t know if you have already spoken about this and could direct me to a helpful podcast or answer this screaming question. My 3 year old son who also recently become an older sibling has a screaming problem. I am fine and comfortable with screaming because I understand, like you said that it is a way for him to release his emotions when he is mad or at home. However I don’t really know how to best handle it when he screams at other children. We go to playgroups and before we get out of the car I tell him that I expect him to not hit when he gets mad and that if someone hits I except him to still not hit and to ask them to not hit him. I finish it off by saying that if he hits we will have to leave. Well during the play date he will get upset about something and while he doesn’t hit another child he will yell at them which then they react by hurting him. He then will still choose to not hit but then screams even louder, “don’t hit me” and then I’m sure because it scares the other child he gets hit more. I try to get there soon enough to block him from being hit but it usually happens so fast that he usually meets me in tears. Is he too young to expect him to not scream? If so when and what are some other coping mechanisms I can teach him when he is mad.

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