A Baby Ready For Kindergarten, College, and Life

A parent recently asked my advice about choosing a preschool for her son. I responded with my belief that the purpose of preschool is socialization, and that a developmental ‘learn through play’ program is best. She agreed in theory, but admitted she worries about kindergarten readiness. Will a school that does not teach academics provide enough preparation for Kindergarten?   This made me think — what...

A Hovering Parent’s Successful Landing

Hovering parents are taking a beating in the media these days. In an avalanche of recent articles, they are shamed, scolded and mocked for hyper-involvement in their children’s lives. ‘Experts’ are coming out of the woodwork with smug superiority, issuing dire warnings about the anxious, insecure children hovering parents are raising. We’re getting an earful about the problems, but zilch in the way of...

Our Children Choose Us

Many of us have the sense that the children in our care chose us. We feel it especially when a child’s needs tap into our weaknesses, we are forced to adjust, and that adjustment makes us change for the better.  It is as if their souls zeroed in on us and decided, “That woman and that man, those future brothers and sisters need lessons I can provide. I’ll help them grow.  I’ll be their teacher.”   I...

You’ll Be Sorry – Children and Apologies

Parenting can be a humbling and embarrassing experience, especially when we find ourselves at the mercy of our children’s guilelessness. Children say and do what they feel. While this instinct is endearing, even admirable, it can also be a bit awkward in the moment when, for example, our daughter spots a topless man in the market and shouts, “He’s so hairy!” (Of course, he may have deserved that, and we do...

Facing the Strange

I have never been fond of change. And I don’t mean coins, I mean transitions. This is one of the many things I have in common with babies and toddlers, who often find transitions difficult too. I would love to say, for example, that I’m a world traveler, full of wanderlust to explore the earth. That sounds sexy, but it’s not me. I am a homebody. I enjoy trips once I’m there, but the thought of getting...

Don’t Stand Me Up

An infant sits stiffly on the floor, unable to move his legs or extend his arms without losing his balance… A toddler steps off a platform and takes a tumble… Another toddler climbs the bars to the top of a wooden structure, then panics and cries out for his mom, who rushes over to rescue him… These are children in my classes who are less physically self-assured than they might be for one simple reason: their...

Free As a Dog (Parenting With Calm Control)

With interest, amusement and head-nodding understanding I read the recent New York Times article “Becoming the Alpha Dog in Your Own Home.” Cesar Millan, TV’s Dog Whisperer, is inspiring armies of parents to use his dog training techniques to bring the security of order and discipline to their children’s lives. Parents are realizing that children, like dogs, need an able pack leader. But if the Alpha dog is...

The S Word (Share!)

It is chanted on every playground and enforced at the park, parties and play dates. It is a word that has become the social mantra for parents of toddlers everywhere: Share! We are all desperate for our children to share. Sharing is vital. The future of the world depends upon our children’s spirit of generosity. We fear that if we don’t remind our child to share, he might become a selfish, stingy outcast. Or, we...