4 Ways To Raise Children With Social Intelligence

“What parents teach is themselves, as models of what is human – by their moods, their reactions, their facial expressions and actions. These are the real things parents need to be aware of, and of how they affect their children. Allow them to know you, and it might become easier for them to learn about themselves.” – Magda Gerber Of all the skills we encourage our children to develop, social intelligence may...

Don’t Fix These Toddler Struggles (I Love This Video)

Time and time again I see toddlers benefitting from impulse control – ours, not theirs. Our natural tendencies to project and protect when our children seem challenged invariably lead us to intervene too much or too soon.  These good intentions can then spoil rich opportunities for physical, cognitive, creative, social and emotional development.  Rule #1: More often than not, struggles and conflicts we might...

Should We Stop Babies From Taking Toys? (Another Respectful Debate)

After observing babies playing together for many years now, I’ve learned a lot about infant and toddler socialization and formed some fairly strong opinions. So, when I read a point of view from another professional that I disagree with, it’s hard for me to resist weighing in. Recently, I entered into a mini-debate about toddlers, toys and ownership that I thought worth sharing. The discussion was stimulated by...

These Toddlers Are NOT Sharing

Do a pair of one-year-olds squabbling over plastic hair rollers sound like fun to you? My guess is an unqualified ‘no’, but infants and toddlers define fun, play and learning quite differently than their elders. They approach social situations, even those that turn into minor conflicts, with curiosity and openness. Observing infant and toddler interactions over the years, I’ve learned that babies have volumes...

Baby Teamwork (Sharing Because They Want To)

When we stay out of the way while babies play and allow them to interact authentically, we can expect the unexpected. Over the years, as both a parent and RIE class facilitator, I’ve made a conscious effort to observe sensitively, keep an open mind about what play should “look like”, and intervene only minimally (when babies might hurt each other). I’ve been rewarded with more surprising, enlightening...

Teaching Babies Language (And Much, Much More) While They Play

If we want our babies to receive all the many, well-documented benefits of self-directed play, Rule #1 is taking care not to interrupt. But that certainly doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be responsive — quite the opposite in fact. Our infants and toddlers, whether playing alone or with peers, appreciate assurances that we are paying attention – subtle reminders that their self-chosen antics intrigue and even...

A Toddler’s Need To Cry (One Parent’s Lesson)

This short story perfectly illustrates the value of waiting before reacting when a child is upset, allowing the child her feelings as we seek to understand rather than “quick-fixing”. As adults, we need room to express our feelings so that we can release them and move on. Children are no different. This observant mom’s experience also reflects the natural tendency we all have to project about the feelings and...

5 Reasons Toddlers Don’t Need ‘Redirection’ (And What To Do Instead)

Redirection is a popular tactic for dealing with a toddler’s undesirable behavior. Its appeal is understandable, because it’s about aiming a child to another activity rather than confronting an issue directly and setting a limit. It helps us dodge the bullet of our child’s resistance, which might include anger, tears or a total meltdown (and we’re all eager to avoid those things, especially in...