This May Hurt (Baby’s Doctor Visits)

I have had many surprises since becoming a mom. I found out that children under the age of six never walk down a hallway when they can run; that corn kernels pass through the body whole; and that boys have a testosterone-powered impulse to test the breaking point of everything, especially new toys, with predictable results. But the biggest surprise of all was the discovery that babies and toddlers can actually...

Big Bad Mama

I had a conversation with a neighbor today, a mom whom I have not spoken to for more than a few moments in passing for several years. She needed to spill some resentments she’s had towards me.  Her point-of-view did not surprise me, but it helped me connect some dots.  Since becoming a mom, many of my weaknesses have been unveiled, but I have also realized some surprising strengths.  For most of my life I have...

Parenting With the Right Side of the Brain

Mom was right brain, Dad was left brain. I loved them both. Thankfully, Dad took care of many of life’s important details — but my mom seemed to have all the fun. Mom was spontaneity, clutter, and disorganized joy. Her presence was magnetic and her laugh contagious. She and her four daughters always arrived late to church, and were in a mad rush to school each day. Mom made up a song that she would...

The Easily Forgotten Gift – Real Attention

I know the gift all children want most — we all want it — but it’s a hard one to remember. I’ve forgotten it for days, even weeks at a time. Sometimes it takes a desperate situation to remind me. Once, I remembered it when my independent ten-year-old went through a phase in which she saw no reason to bathe. Days would pass. She would come up with excuses. I would let her off the hook and then forget...

You’ll Be Sorry – Children and Apologies

Parenting can be a humbling and embarrassing experience, especially when we find ourselves at the mercy of our children’s guilelessness. Children say and do what they feel. While this instinct is endearing, even admirable, it can also be a bit awkward in the moment when, for example, our daughter spots a topless man in the market and shouts, “He’s so hairy!” (Of course, he may have deserved that, and we do...

Facing the Strange

I have never been fond of change. And I don’t mean coins, I mean transitions. This is one of the many things I have in common with babies and toddlers, who often find transitions difficult too. I would love to say, for example, that I’m a world traveler, full of wanderlust to explore the earth. That sounds sexy, but it’s not me. I am a homebody. I enjoy trips once I’m there, but the thought of getting...

Don’t Stand Me Up

An infant sits stiffly on the floor, unable to move his legs or extend his arms without losing his balance… A toddler steps off a platform and takes a tumble… Another toddler climbs the bars to the top of a wooden structure, then panics and cries out for his mom, who rushes over to rescue him… These are children in my classes who are less physically self-assured than they might be for one simple reason: their...

Free As a Dog (Parenting With Calm Control)

With interest, amusement and head-nodding understanding I read the recent New York Times article “Becoming the Alpha Dog in Your Own Home.” Cesar Millan, TV’s Dog Whisperer, is inspiring armies of parents to use his dog training techniques to bring the security of order and discipline to their children’s lives. Parents are realizing that children, like dogs, need an able pack leader. But if the Alpha dog is...