elevating child care

The Secret to Setting Limits (Without Bribes or Threats)

Hi Janet, Please help! I’ve recently found your resources and devoured your books, but since I’ve shifted my parenting practices, I feel like everything has fallen to pieces! I’m having to rethink my strategies with my 4-year-old.  Normally bedtime is effortless — a great routine, quality time, and straight down. The only caveat is that I’ve used TV as an incentive and threaten to cancel...

Helping Toddlers Succeed (at the Park, Playdates, Outings, and Other Social Situations)

Early childhood specialist Lisa Sunbury and I were speaking with a mutual friend who was concerned about a problematic playdate her toddler had recently experienced. During our conversation, Lisa shared a personal goal that I agree with completely: “I feel like it’s my job to help my child to succeed in these situations.” Nothing disappoints me more than hearing respectful parenting misinterpreted as...

Eating Isn’t Ours to Control – How One Parent Replaced Fear with Trust

Worrying is a by-product of parenting, and our children’s eating habits are a common focus of concern. Are our kids eating enough? And are they eating the right things? Problems occur when our highly aware young children sense our concerns, because they can be compelled to test and exploit them. Kids always seem to know when they have us over a barrel (or, in this case, a bowl), and the uncomfortable yet...

Putting an End to Power Struggles with Our Kids

With the knowledge that it almost certainly takes two to tango, it should be easy for us to avoid engaging in power struggles with our kids, right? Um… not always. Here are some of the understandable reasons we might get caught in a battle of wills: We want our kids to be well-behaved, respect our wishes, do as we ask. (And, by the way, there’s nothing wrong with any of that, so don’t ever let anyone make you...

The Secret to Getting out the Door with a Resistant Child

It’s time to go, but our child says no. We’ve tried explaining, coaxing, bribing, scolding. We’ve given choices, played games, filled our child’s cup with attention and quality time. We’ve even tried half-heartedly acknowledging, “I know you don’t want to go, but we must…” All to no avail. Frustration mounts, guilt and doubt seep in… What if she really dislikes her school (we’ve chosen the...

When Children Lie

Hi Janet, how would you handle situations when a 6-year-old lies? What consequences would you implement? Honestly, if my 6-year-old out-and-out lied to me, I would wonder what I had done to cause that. As the leader in our parent-child relationship, I would take it upon myself to discern how I had made the truth feel unsafe or uncomfortable for my child. Then I would do all in my power to repair this rift between...

In Times of Transition, Our Children Need to Feel Our Love (6 Ways to Help)

Grace shared a story about her older son’s stressful “big brother” transition that demonstrates the healing power of respectful parenting practices. My younger baby Ben was in NICU and came out with brain damage, so the months after his birth were very stressful. All our time and energy was put into helping him and taking him to appointments. One day when Ben was about four months old, my elder son (almost...

How to Stop Your Runaway Toddler

My 2 year old daughter is running off in public and refuses to listen.  I feel like we have tried everything. I try to be open and patient and allow her to explore, but at times her behavior is dangerous and I worry about her safety. I am at a breaking point. I don’t even want to take her anywhere because it always ends in her running away and me carrying her to the car screaming. Any advice you have on this...

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