The Baby Social Scene – 5 Hints For Creating Safe And Joyful Playgroups

A recent post, Is Your Baby A Bully? Genius? Shy? Why We Should Lose Labels, stirred up unexpected controversy. Several parents were apparently shocked by my suggestion that babies could play together with minimal intervention, without adults reminding the babies to share, or asking them to give something back because “so-and-so had it first”.  The comments that surprised me most...

Magda Gerber’s Gift To Grown-Ups – Parenting That Engages The Mind

Infant expert Magda Gerber’s contributions to the lives of children are widely acclaimed by educators and child care professionals.  Less acknowledged is the tremendous gift her Educaring philosophy is to us. Magda’s theories not only make our job more enjoyable and successful — they elevate the child care experience. They stretch us and engage our intellect, opening our eyes to a new view of infants, and...

No Bad Kids – Toddler Discipline Without Shame (9 Guidelines)

A toddler acting out is not shameful, nor is it behavior that needs punishing. It’s a cry for attention, a shout-out for sleep, or a call to action for firmer, more consistent limits. It is the push-pull of your toddler testing his burgeoning independence. He has the overwhelming impulse to step out of bounds, while also desperately needing to know he is securely reined in. There is no question that children need...

Attachment Parenting Debate (For Crying Out Loud!)

The other day I made a comment that led to an animated online discussion with a blogger (Annie) who writes about Attachment Parenting. Attachment Parenting is a movement founded by William Sears, M.D.  He recommends maintaining close physical contact with a baby 24 hours a day for the sake of bonding.  Parents are encouraged to keep the baby next to them at all times in their arms or in a baby carrier, to...

Our Children Choose Us

Many of us have the sense that the children in our care chose us. We feel it especially when a child’s needs tap into our weaknesses, we are forced to adjust, and that adjustment makes us change for the better.  It is as if their souls zeroed in on us and decided, “That woman and that man, those future brothers and sisters need lessons I can provide. I’ll help them grow.  I’ll be their teacher.”   I...

Babies Crying – A Parent’s ‘Bad Day’ Survival Secret

Okay, right away I admit my title may be a little misleading. I don’t really have any magic tricks to relieve a parent’s bad day.  The old standby’s like massage, cocktails, sex (preferably with someone, like a spouse), chatting with an empathetic friend, exercise, or a shopping spree can work in a pinch, but they all require either time, money or energy –sometimes all three.  Every parent experiences...

You’ll Be Sorry – Children and Apologies

Parenting can be a humbling and embarrassing experience, especially when we find ourselves at the mercy of our children’s guilelessness. Children say and do what they feel. While this instinct is endearing, even admirable, it can also be a bit awkward in the moment when, for example, our daughter spots a topless man in the market and shouts, “He’s so hairy!” (Of course, he may have deserved that, and we do...

Free As a Dog (Parenting With Calm Control)

With interest, amusement and head-nodding understanding I read the recent New York Times article “Becoming the Alpha Dog in Your Own Home.” Cesar Millan, TV’s Dog Whisperer, is inspiring armies of parents to use his dog training techniques to bring the security of order and discipline to their children’s lives. Parents are realizing that children, like dogs, need an able pack leader. But if the Alpha dog is...