What Your Baby Can’t Tell You

Years ago, I had a major awakening. It hit me that my three month old baby was an actual person. I had brought her to a parenting class and was asked to place her on her back on a blanket next to me, where she lay for two hours — peaceful, alert, engaged, and self-contained.  She didn’t make a sound, but I felt the power of her presence, a self-assuredness that at age 17 still knocks my socks off.  If you...

The Easily Forgotten Gift – Real Attention

I know the gift all children want most — we all want it — but it’s a hard one to remember. I’ve forgotten it for days, even weeks at a time. Sometimes it takes a desperate situation to remind me. Once, I remembered it when my independent ten-year-old went through a phase in which she saw no reason to bathe. Days would pass. She would come up with excuses. I would let her off the hook and then forget...

Smelling Roses (Taking Babies on Errands)

I can relate to babies. I get over-stimulated in the supermarket the way babies do. I have a strange aversion to making lists and always believe I will be able to take a few minutes to march down each aisle, recognizing all I need to buy. Twenty minutes later, I’m in a zombie trance and have covered less than half the store. (The hidden benefit to this is that my husband now prefers to get-it-and-go himself,...

Blue Sky Thinking

“Take the mobile off the bed, take care of their needs, and leave them alone.” This odd sentence was my introduction to Magda Gerber and the child care philosophy that would become my passion. I had given birth a few months before reading this quotation, the only one by Gerber, in an article in L.A. Parent magazine about raising a creative child. I remember nothing else about the article, but I could not get...