Parenting ideas that fly.

Raising Kids Who Enjoy Coming Home

Successful parenting isn’t about getting our kids to college — it’s about what happens when they come back home. That is the one useful message I took away from “The Return of the Natives”, Jan Hoffman’s New York Times article about distant and disrespectful young adults spending their first college winter breaks with their parents.   “Your student, who will arrive home a wrung-out, post-finals...

The Happiest Babies Aren’t Shushed, Swung or Scheduled

There are many routes to successful parenting. Here’s how one mom found hers: Janet – first let me thank you for all that you do. I always envisioned the kind of connection I wanted to have with my baby, and your posts have helped make that dream a reality. In the spirit of new beginnings for the new year, I would love to share my joy: I used to think my 4 month old son was high maintenance. But I was the...

No Angry Kids – Fostering Emotional Literacy In Our Children

“Remember, crying is a baby’s language – it is a way to express pain, anger, and sadness. Acknowledge the emotions your baby is expressing. Let him know he has communicated.” – Magda Gerber, Dear Parent – Caring For Infants With Respect In the beginning, fostering healthy emotional development for our children means listening and trying to decipher our babies’ cries rather than immediately suppressing...

Parenting a Healthier Generation

The most common similarity among the many parents I engage with is a heightened awareness about parenting, especially the hour-by-hour cause and effect of our interactions with infants and toddlers. If the wonderful success stories I’ve heard are any indication, it’s clear to me that informed, thoughtful child care practices pay off.   My own experience as a parent has been one of constantly marveling at my...

Parenting Secrets That End Power Struggles

I’m privileged to receive a steady stream of questions from parents about various issues (and regret not being able to answer them all). The most common dilemma by far is discipline. Loving, thoughtful parents simply want to know how to give their kids healthy limits and boundaries, but this area of parenting is fraught with confusion, emotions and misunderstanding. Successful guidance provides children the safety...

Tantrums and Meltdowns – My Secret For Staying Calm When My Kids Aren’t

I’ve hesitated to share this secret because I worry it seems silly.  Then it occurred to me that if I’m really striving to provide a complete parenting “toolbox” on this blog, I can’t not include a practice, however inane, that has been essential to my own sanity and to raising three kids who are healthier and better adjusted than I could ever have hoped. I’m the kind of person who absorbs and is...

The Instant Gratification Every Child Needs

The mum who previously shared the trials and successes of her first year of RIE parenting in Parenting Against The Grain has shared another extraordinary story with me and it brilliantly illustrates the power of simply letting children know we understand them. Hi Janet, I wanted to tell you about an incredible encounter I had with a four-year-old today. I was sitting on the floor at an op-shop searching through...

7 Myths That Discourage Independent Play

The value of child-directed play is universally recognized and one of the few aspects of child-rearing that experts and thought leaders agree on. Independent play makes for highly productive, happily occupied kids, which in turn makes for happier, calmer parents. And it’s natural — the desire and ability to create play is inborn. So, what could possibly go wrong? Parents often share with me the difficulties...