Social / Emotional Development

7 Parenting Secrets That Change Lives

“Distracting and redirecting did not fool him.  Time outs and rewards did not motivate him.”  This is the story of a bright, spirited toddler with exceptionally loving parents who felt their family “spiraling out of control.” But all they really needed were some simple tools to help them understand how to communicate with their son as a whole person and set limits with respect. Here are the practices that...

My Child Is Not Okay

Encouraging kids to express their feelings would seem to be one of the simpler aspects of parenting, yes? Far from it.  Our children’s tears and tantrums are messy, embarrassing and extremely challenging to listen to without being reactive. Discomfort with displays of emotion is embedded in our psyches, perhaps stemming from primitive times when crying children attracted wild animals that might devour the family....

Before Babies Smile

“Oh, look, he’s walking! He’s a little person now!” We’ve all heard these comments about infants and toddlers and have probably made them ourselves. So, that begs the question: at what age do babies morph into little people? It’s admittedly hard to believe that a tiny newborn is a fully aware, whole person. Could a brand new baby, only able to communicate by crying and eye contact, be as “present” as...

Trust Your Baby…It Works (A Note From My Daughter)

Raising babies with trust and respect can be scary. As “right” as Magda Gerber’s approach always felt to me, I had moments of doubt in the beginning. Is it really enough to let young children develop skills naturally and independently without our nudging? Is it truly okay for children to self-direct their play and learning, choose their activities? Can they really be trusted to know themselves and their needs...

What Your Toddler Thinks Of Discipline

I’ve been told that I “understand” toddlers (and nothing could be a greater compliment). This might be because my own emotional development was partially arrested as a toddler for reasons I haven’t yet unraveled, but it’s probably also because after all the time I’ve spent observing toddlers, I’ve begun to identify with them. Sometimes, for example, when a parent in class asks her toddler not to throw...

Parent Do-Overs – 7 Confidence Building Responses

If parenting were film acting, we’d always be brilliant because we’d have plenty of “takes” to perfect our responses (not to mention make-up, hair styling and ridiculously high salaries).  But we are playing a part — the role of a lifetime for a lifetime.  Luckily, we perform for an adoring, forgiving audience, and our children will usually accept our less thoughtful, less than stellar performances....

Your Toddler Doesn’t Need Taming

The words we use matter. Infants are not “its”. Toddlers don’t need “taming”. Wild animals might need taming (in the rare instance that’s necessary), but toddlers need acceptance, guidance, and understanding. Each time we speak or write we are not only reflecting our perceptions, but also reinforcing them and affecting others. If you catch yourself using objectifying or dehumanizing words when referring...

How To Handle Your Toddler’s Intensity

Hi Janet, My son is 3 years old and is a very happy child! He is at a RIE accredited Montessori school since he was little. I’m a working mom. I will never forget that after his first days at the infant room, his teacher told me that it was amazing how much he observed. His eyes did not stop moving one side to the other. She used the term busy but at that point and being a first time mom, it did not mean a lot...