Social Skills

Parent Do-Overs – 7 Confidence Building Responses

If parenting were film acting, we’d always be brilliant because we’d have plenty of “takes” to perfect our responses (not to mention make-up, hair styling and ridiculously high salaries).  But we are playing a part — the role of a lifetime for a lifetime.  Luckily, we perform for an adoring, forgiving audience, and our children will usually accept our less thoughtful, less than stellar performances....

Don’t Fix These Toddler Struggles (I Love This Video)

Time and time again I see toddlers benefitting from impulse control – ours, not theirs. Our natural tendencies to project and protect when our children seem challenged invariably lead us to intervene too much or too soon.  These good intentions can then spoil rich opportunities for physical, cognitive, creative, social and emotional development.  Rule #1: More often than not, struggles and conflicts we might...

Should We Stop Babies From Taking Toys? (Another Respectful Debate)

After observing babies playing together for many years now, I’ve learned a lot about infant and toddler socialization and formed some fairly strong opinions. So, when I read a point of view from another professional that I disagree with, it’s hard for me to resist weighing in. Recently, I entered into a mini-debate about toddlers, toys and ownership that I thought worth sharing. The discussion was stimulated by...

These Toddlers Are NOT Sharing

Do a pair of one-year-olds squabbling over plastic hair rollers sound like fun to you? My guess is an unqualified ‘no’, but infants and toddlers define fun, play and learning quite differently than their elders. They approach social situations, even those that turn into minor conflicts, with curiosity and openness. Observing infant and toddler interactions over the years, I’ve learned that babies have volumes...

Baby Teamwork (Sharing Because They Want To)

When we stay out of the way while babies play and allow them to interact authentically, we can expect the unexpected. Over the years, as both a parent and RIE class facilitator, I’ve made a conscious effort to observe sensitively, keep an open mind about what play should “look like”, and intervene only minimally (when babies might hurt each other). I’ve been rewarded with more surprising, enlightening...

Gentle Discipline In Action (Seeing Is Believing)

Do toddlers like to learn rules and follow directions? Are they capable of restraint, making decisions, self-discipline, patience, even unsolicited acts of kindness? Seeing is believing. In this brief video, not just one, but five extraordinary 14 to 18 month old toddlers demonstrate these things and more… (No actors were hired!) This is the first few minutes of snack time (traditionally consisting of bananas and...

The Parenting Magic Word (10 Ways To Use It)

Madga Gerber extolled the power of a single word that is fundamental to her child care philosophy. This word reflects a core belief in a baby’s natural abilities, respects his unique developmental timetable, fulfills his need to experience mastery, be a creative problem solver and to express feelings (even those that are hard for us to witness). The word is a simple, practical tool for understanding babies,...

5 Reasons Toddlers Don’t Need ‘Redirection’ (And What To Do Instead)

Redirection is a popular tactic for dealing with a toddler’s undesirable behavior. Its appeal is understandable, because it’s about aiming a child to another activity rather than confronting an issue directly and setting a limit. It helps us dodge the bullet of our child’s resistance, which might include anger, tears or a total meltdown (and we’re all eager to avoid those things, especially in...