Comments on: Baby Table Manners (With Video)

By: janet

janet — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 01:18:18 +0000

Candace, thanks for this perfect explanation!

By: janet

janet — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 01:15:31 +0000

Sounds great, Briana!

By: Briana

Briana — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 07:18:57 +0000

Thank you for this Janet! I did this in my classroom and it made meal time so joyful. My boys ( for I only have boys in my class) enjoyed setting up the table from a very young age, around 12 months, and now as they are nearing 2 years we have built upon our table manners and added in many nuances to make the experience special for us: making tea, passing out dishes to peers, serving family style (everyone scooping their own, including a limit of 1 scoop).
I also follow baby led weaning, or serving children whole foods vs. purees and I believe that this goes hand in hand with building table manners this way. It supports that same respect allowing a child to grasp their food when they are ready, eat as much as they want while experiencing foods in their true form and texture, and build upon skills at their own speed.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 06:39:22 +0000

Awesome video! I love the chance to see RIE in action I’ll be getting a small table for my boy ASAP!

By: Candace

Candace — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 06:03:21 +0000

rmiller.217: as long as the table is sufficiently low enough like this small one Janet has, a child climbing on it should be able to survive a short jump. The general philosophy of RIE tends to raise toddlers who rarely do things they aren’t ready for yet, or they do it in a way that is safe enough for their abilities. If they’re ready for practicing jumping, let them give it a try. A spill is highly unlikely to do lasting damage, and it may deter them next time they climb up. I’ve noticed that if my son does something sort of risky, that he is not ready for, its usually only once and he realizes how dangerous it feels and just doesn’t attempt it again. Like climbing up something really high. He’ll do it and get back down and be like “whew” gonna do something else. If he is confident and masterful at the action, he does it plenty until he is just tired of it. My son will stand on tables very happily and he really enjoys just standing there up on a high surface, but at 16mo he is not ready to jump off anything, and he never has tried. If he wants to get down, he sits and scoots off. I would continue reading Janet’s articles about why babies need to be trusted to move, and make mistakes, learn to fall, etc, so they may gain experience for self-regulation and awareness.

By: janet

janet — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 05:35:03 +0000

A couple of thoughts… First, if you’re worried about climbing and jumping, I’d put the table away and just take it out for meals and snacks.

Second, this does not work if you allow children to leave the table with food. Calmly and confidently let them know (and follow through by holding their hands or removing the food from them) that the food has to stay at the table. Tell them they must stay until they finish the bite of food, but then they are welcome to leave… If they do start to leave after a bite, ask, “Are you all done? Okay, I’ll put this away.” Often they’ll come rushing back. Toddlers need and want us to be very clear…and they’ll keep testing until we are.

By: rmiller.217

rmiller.217 — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 04:41:23 +0000

I would very much like to try this. I am sick of the in-and-out and up-and-down of high chairs.

I am worried, however, about my little adventurers climbing (and jumping off) the low table when it is not in use. Also, as far as them staying seated to eat, what to do if they take the food and run? It seems like it could be hard to grab and hold a struggling toddler across the table.

Thanks for the great resources.

By: janet

janet — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 18:01:48 +0000

Sounds good, Laura. When I mention starting the cup at a few months, I mean with guidance. He’ll need you hold it for him at first. And it makes sense that he finds it strange if he hasn’t been used to drinking that way (for real, instead of just for play in his bath). It a totally different way of drinking than “pulling” through a sippy cup. When you do give him opportunities to try it on his own, give just a tiny amount of water in the cup, so that it’s no problem if he spills.

By: Laura M

Laura M — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 17:55:21 +0000

When you say skip Sippy cups altogether….I started placing a sippy cup on the high chair tray as soon as we started solids, and my son was off the bottle by nine months. At what point can I start to just give a cup? You say “a few months” but whenever I have tried to offer my son an open cup he looks at me like I’m crazy. He’s eleven months now, and oddly, drinks out of an open cup in the bath and pool, but for whatever reason I can’t get him to associate drinking at the high chair with open cups.

He will drink out of an open cup if I hold it for him. I guess I will just keep trying, offering the open cup first and then offering the sippy for him to finish his milk.

By: janet

janet — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 23:40:02 +0000

I just realized I didn’t answer your question: “And I notice some babies open their mouths for the food and others reach out. Is there any difference, what should be happening at home?”

The babies were opening their mouths that day for some reason, so I followed their lead. Usually, I offer a piece of banana and the child takes it in his hand. At home, you could have a small plate on the table with a few choices of foods and allow your son to take what he wants or ask if he wants you to feed him… It really doesn’t matter because he’ll want to pick up the food eventually, if you don’t make a big deal out of it.