There are experts who believe babies should be constantly in carriers or held while parents go about their day because 9 months after birth babies should still be in the womb (which to me is arbitrary and not as nature obviously planned). Magda Gerber believed in nurturing with attentive touch, respect and empathetic connection… She believed that love was not only touching and holding a baby, but also respecting the otherness of the beloved, allowing the infant to make choices and initiate activity — like your baby is doing. Keep treating your baby like a unique whole person and you will see that you can trust her to tell you when she needs you and, eventually, what she needs. Sounds dreamy, Kate. Congratulations!

If we sit back and watch, babies can tell us so much. Talking to them before we do something, asking questions and explaining as we are doing, helps babies understand us too. Just lying where our babies lie and looking up helps us to see life through their eyes. I love doing this with my youngest. Thank you for a great post.

I have a three week old baby, and just because I’ve been recovering from the birth she has spent a lot of time lying on her back on my bed. In the last few days I’ve noticed that she’s been practising turning onto her side, and like you said sometimes cries with frustration as she tries to do it. At first I thought it as hunger but now I’m learning to wait a while before feeding her in case it’s not. What is a good length of time for a baby of this age to be on their back? I feel like I should be constantly holding her to give her love and attention, but she does seem to like lying on her back, practising moving her arms and legs and making a lot of noises while doing it! Before giving birth I had read about swaddling babies so they feel safe as if still in the womb, but my daughter seems to love using her limbs.

Yes, I guarantee you will never go wrong respecting an infant. I’m so glad you are excited about the RIE approach. I would love to support you any way I can.

Infants learn best from toys and objects that they can work at understanding, and simpler toys tend to occupy them for longer periods of time. Eliana is not likely to be able to comprehend the Munchkin Mozart Cube at this stage, and it plays for her instead of encouraging her to create her own play with it. But, I agree that Mozart is preferable to some of the other baby noisemakers! Maybe, instead of using it in Eliana’s play space, it could be a part of her bedtime ritual — a music box she gets to turn on and listen to before she goes to bed. Or, use it occasionally, as you say, make it the ‘ace in the hole’ that occupies her in the crunch — in the car, etc.

Thanks so much for your comment and great question.